U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
