I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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