So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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