May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
