U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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