Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
