The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
