What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
they're like a gay fantastic four
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
