The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
