i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
