Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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