Don't you send me to vm
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What a dumb baby whore.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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