Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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