Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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