I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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