You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
