i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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