At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
