I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
