You really coming over, don't trick.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
