morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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