i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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