dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
