Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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