do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
