16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
