you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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