this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We are all done wearing pants today
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
