I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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