Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
