I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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