And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
