Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
