why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
