Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
