currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
cat food counts as protein by the way
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
