I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
