I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
