Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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