Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
