I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
