Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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