wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
