When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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