Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
