I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
