It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
