I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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