im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
