you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
