Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
