I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
