just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
do nipples grow back?
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